My Mantra for the year is “Accomplish”.

What can I accomplish?

What have I accomplished?

What should I accomplish?

What will I accomplish?

I have attempted to be mindful of this mantra all year.

Whenever I am feeling down, I am attempting to redirect my thoughts to everything that I have accomplished so far and what I will continue to accomplish in the upcoming months.

There are some situations that this process does not work well with.  I’m dealing with one of those situations now at work.

I’ve accomplished a great deal at work in the last 7 months.  Special projects that were assigned to me that were in complete disarray when I first glimpsed them.

Most of the projects are still “works in progress” – they will not be solved overnight – or even within months.  The fact that progress is being made – that is the accomplishment that I’m most proud of.

“Rome wasn’t built in a day” and neither will these special projects be completed in a month (or even, in some cases, a year or more).

So, why am I feeling a sense of failure?

That’s easy to answer – on the surface – I have a coworker who constantly questions my method and ability to complete these projects.  She has no interest in taking these projects over – it appears she just wants to nit-pick my methods and point out every mistake she thinks I have made.

That leads me to doubt my process.  I’ve made several mistakes in the implementing of my processes – some pointed out by others; some discovered as a result of just following through steps that I thought would work one way, but reality showed a different outcome.  Weeding out what does and doesn’t work is part of the process as well.  I welcome the process of improving my processes – that helps everyone.

So…why is her involvement in my projects causing this sense of failure?

I’m searching for answers on this and not finding them – at least not an easy answer.

In the past, I have been told that I need to “let go of my perfectionism”.  I don’t believe I am perfect – I do want criticism and constructive feedback on how to make a process better.

I do not appreciate being told “you are wrong – because I said so”; which is what I’m hearing from my coworker.

So – how do I change what I’m hearing from a place of negativity to a view of positivity?

Telling myself, “She’s trying to tell you your process needs improvement – she just doesn’t know how to say that in a constructive way” helps, but falls short of the mark for me.

Trying to read between her lines is tiring and exhausting.  I like to tell people, “I failed mind-reading class.”  Attempting to clarify what she is saying has backfired in the past as she responded as though I was attacking her and I’m hesitant to try again.

I cannot change her, I can only change myself.  So…how can I accomplish this?  Something new to add to my list of special projects.

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