Category: Technology


That Machine Can Do What?

I’m a dunce.

No really, I feel stupid.

I got schooled yesterday on how to work a copy machine.

So much for me being an office genius……or so they’ve been told.  I’m sure my office-mates are currently questioning if my raise was worth it.

Copy machines these days are more advanced than ever before.  I’m used to the things copying, collating and maybe – just maybe – if you’re really, really nice to it, it’ll also staple for you without jamming every other page.

Wouldn’t you know, I was shown what a truly moronic backwards hick regarding technology I really am.

Copy machines these days will not only do all of the above, but will also print in color, punch holes (3-holed paper will be going the way of the dinosaurs pretty soon), and probably more tricks that I’m not privy to just yet.

I also found out that if they are connected to the network, you don’t even have to get off your duff to print anything.  That’s right, if our jobs weren’t already sedentary enough, now we don’t even have to get up to copy anything.  Just point, click and sit back and let the printer do the work for you.

This is outrageous!!

Don’t developers know that the copy machine is the last frontier, the last sacred cow, where office workers have an excuse to stretch, visit and goof off – all in the name of waiting on the copy job to get done?  Do they really expect us to stay at our desks and keep our noses to the grindstone?  I can’t even wrap my head around this egregious assault on common office protocol.

Is there no respect anymore?

…..At least I now know how to tell the copier to handle my every whim……

If only the developers would create a copy machine that un-jams, reloads the paper hoppers all on its own, make coffee, pick up the mail and deals with those annoying customers all with a click of the mouse – then office workers would rejoice!!

Advertisements

The SomethingorotherPad

Technology has never been a strong calling in my life.

Just take this last weekend for example; I finally joined the ranks of those already living in the 21 century:

It’s with a heavy heart that I turned in my passwords to the dial-up internet we’ve been using for the last 5+ years.  <<hangs head in shame>>  Yes, you heard that right – DIAL-UP INTERNET (echo echo echo).

Why did we have dial up for all of these years?

Nostalgia?

Laziness?

Stubbornness?

Maybe it was a combination of all three…..

Mostly it’s because I hate the only company available in our area that holds the key to DSL access.  I know, another IT service – and you already know what I think about the evil minions of IT.  I won’t get into that again, but suffice it to say, my stubbornness kicked in once I learned they were the only company in my area authorized to provide high-speed internet access to my home……

So – I showed them!! HA!!  So THERE!!  I was content to live with my dial-up from now until eternity ….or….. another company came along to offer me what I wanted.

Until….

The Money Fairy appeared and made a deposit into my banking account.

The responsible adult in me knew I should spend the money on bills or savings or something responsible – while the little kid in me just wanted a new toy.

So – I compromised.

Half in savings and half spent on a bright, shiny, new laptop computer – with matching accessories!  Hey!  I am a woman after all!  I need my accessories!  Accessories such as a wireless mouse, upgraded security software (free w/purchase), CD Rom Cleaner, Windows washing fluid, and a backpack to haul it all in.  Okay – so a few of those items might be made up, but I seriously had a large haul leaving the store.

Including a brand new Netbook/IPad/Touchpad/SomethingorotherPad (heck, I can’t remember what the dang thing is called!).  All I know is its SHINY!!

And impossible to operate on dial-up.

You cannot turn on a SomethingorotherPad for the first time without wire-less access.  My less-than-accommodating neighbors all had their wireless networks locked down tighter than Fort Knox.  Cheapskates.

Hun suggested we take a trip to the library (closed) and sit outside in the parking lot, soaking up their free WiFi until the SomethingorotherPad is set up.  Pack everything up for a road-trip only to find out the  SomethingorotherPad refuses to acknowledge the library’s system – while the laptop does just fine.  Hun then suggests McDonald’s as an alternate location – back on the road we go.

Damn SomethingorotherPad will not, I repeat, will NOT log into McDonald’s WiFi either!  <<ARGH!!>>

Hun was just barely able to stop me from attempting to throw the bright, shiny, new SomethingorotherPad out the window.

Back home we trek, broken and defeated by the new technology…..

Until…..

I remember how the helpful, accommodating, probably-works-off-commission sales dude mentioned while picking up the new toys how easy it is to set up a wireless system inside your own home.  I had waved him away with a dismissive air, confident in my ability to remain on dial-up indefinitely if need be.   With a heavy heart and lighter pocket book, I slunk back into the store to ask more questions about my very own wireless network.

I am now the proud owner of a wireless system, set up in my very own home, by technology challenged little ol’ me, all by my little lonesome self!!  Woohoo!!           …..(oh, and Hun helped too)

I’ll have you know, I’m composing this entry, while sitting at my kitchen table, waiting on dinner to be done.

I’m so proud of myself!

Oh….and for those keeping track…..it’s now Vacation Count Down Day 23 and counting….