Archive for November, 2017


Work of Heart

I am typing this post at home after my first day at my “new” old job.

I applied for and was offered my old job back in the medical staff office that I quit around 2-3 years ago (I’ve lost track of actual time on when I left).

I seriously question my sanity in going back to a job that I swear gave me a mild form of PTSD.  But at the same time, so much has changed since I left that I am no longer worried about the stress of the position.

One – there are now more people in the department – up to 5 staff members now (when there were just 3).

Two – there are employees who know what they’re doing and are certified in the job with many years of experience working there now.  I won’t be asking questions and receiving non-answers any more, nor will I be left to figure it out for myself.

Three – I have leadership who knows what it is like to struggle and knows my history with the position.  And they hired me anyway because they believe in my strengths and know I can do the job with the right resources.

My first day was less than productive, but also hilarious and heartwarming.

I have no computer to do my work on – but it is on order!  I’m currently using an old laptop they have in the office until the computer comes in (which they were informed today might take as long as 2 weeks).

I have my old desk back.  A really old desk from a position I was in about 10-15 years ago.  As I walked in and the desk was pointed out, I paused and thought, “that looks familiar”.  Sitting down at it, the scratch on the top and the drawer that doesn’t quite open right seemed to whisper, “Hello old friend”.  Speaking with another coworker who stopped by the office later in the day confirmed, yes indeed, it is the same desk I sat at when I first transitioned from food service employee to administrative assistant all those years ago.

My coworkers are a joy to work with.  Each of them wanting to know what they could do to help me, all while I’m asking them what I can do to help ease the work load from them.  They have nicknames for each other and laugh together at the smallest of joys.

It’s a different atmosphere in this office both from before and from where I came from.  It is a stark contrast to have one office employee refer to you as a “b*tch” (and not in a joking manner) on your last day and the new office employees excited that you’ve joined their team that they include you in their nicknames for each other on the first day (officially dubbed “work of heart” – but with the assurance I can change it if I want).

Work_Of_Heart

Work of Heart Bear – She is an artistic Care Bear who shows that creativity and hard work can create beautiful things. (Wikipedia)

I’ve had enough self-growth in this past year to realize that the disgruntled employee calling me a bad name is a reflection on them and not on me.  I consider it tremendous growth to have overheard it (I was meant to hear the comment), let it go without a comment and feel some amusement at the same time.  I am secure in my knowledge of my own actions and behavior that I know I’m not who they think I am.

I am one month away from being at my company for the beginning of my 23rd year.  Today felt like coming home.

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Turned Upside Down

Hey everyone, I’m up early and can’t sleep.

A lot has happened since I posted last.  I’m going to try to get back into the habit of writing and sharing, but it really hasn’t been a priority for me, so we’ll see how that goes.

My year of the mantra “Accomplish” has been a success (in my humble opinion).

I have a new job.

Hun and I are digging ourselves out of debt (slowly, but surely).

We have made some major repairs on our home, with plans for several more over the next six months.

We have a vacation planned for our 15th year anniversary.

Monkey, our last child still in school, is a year and a half away from graduating.

Rowdy is moving back in, and possibly LaLa as well.

This last item is what has me unable to sleep.

I’m trying to stay positive about the situation and keep reminding myself to take it one day at a time.  I’m trying to remember that it’s been almost 3 years since Rowdy moved out and he’s matured since then.

I remind myself of my own childhood at that point in my life where I made many questionable choices and had a mother who constantly reminded me of those poor choices.  “I just can’t trust you after what you did” was thrown in my face years after the deeds were done and my actions proved otherwise.

I have no qualms about LaLa moving back in.  She moved out by her own choice and was looking for any reason she could as justification at the time.  We talked to her last night and let her know what our “requirements” were for her moving back in.  She said she would let us know.

Talking to Monkey after LaLa left, Monkey commented, “She doesn’t want you to say, ‘I told you so’”.  Both Hun and I were shocked at that.  While we might think it, we would not say it out-loud, especially in this situation.  (I have had instances where a kid – ahem…Rowdy – insisted they were going to do things their way and I let them know the idea was going to turn out badly and when it did I was going to tell them ‘I told you so’ – but that was used as incentive to keep them from doing it – which usually worked.)

So, why are the kids thinking about moving back in?  They were living with their mom, Jetsam.  I’ll have to look back at my posts to see if I wrote about it, but she separated from her boyfriend/husband about 2 years ago and moved into an apartment not too far away from us (within 5 miles).

Jetsam has been evicted, which means her 3 kids were evicted with her (Flounder, her youngest, is a sophmore in high school).  She has chosen to move in with a sister, who lives 60 miles away from their current jobs.  Which means, if they move with her, they will have to quit their current jobs and then find new jobs – in an area with very few employment opportunities (both Hun and I have lived in that area – there’s a reason why we moved out of it).

There are so many facets to this event that keep tumbling through my mind.

Hun and I are not surprised that Jetsam has been evicted (we are surprised that it took this long).

We are not surprised that LaLa is considering moving back in.

We are surprised that Rowdy has asked us to move back in.  It was not under the best of circumstances that he moved out.

So, there it is.  Why I can’t sleep.  Our lives are about to be turned upside down again and not by our own doing.  Posting helped to keep me sane before.  I suspect I’ll be posting more in the future.