I’m in a new job; and with the new job comes new people.

People who have not heard my stories for years on end.  People who have not been exposed to the craziness of my life, as it was happening.

And it makes me wonder.

Wonder about what they would say if I was another character in my stories.

What would they say to me if I was Flotsam or Jetsam relaying my tales of woes?

What would they say if I was LaLa, or Monkey, or Rowdy?

I’ve had this issue in the past.  Wondering if my side of the story I’m in is worthy of telling.  Wondering how the others in my life would tell the same story from their point of view.

Wondering why it matters to me.

And then the absurdness of my thoughts makes me laugh.

To the people I wonder about, I am the villain in their story.

The wicked witch.

And worse names that I will not relay here….again.

I wonder why I wonder.  Why I care what their side of the story is.

My side of the story is no less important than their side after all.

Different perspectives, different views on life.

Am I the villain?  Am I the misunderstood stepmom?  Am I the unlikely hero?

I am none of those things.  And yet, I am all of them.

Should I concern myself with their perspective?

Some days I think yes, some days I think no.

Then there are days like today that make me wonder why I worry about it at all.

I think that makes me empathetic.  Maybe.

I know it makes me human.

I wonder why it bothers me to think about things like this.  And then I wonder if any of the characters in my story think about me in the same way.  Wondering if I tell the story differently than they do.

Then I wonder why these thoughts pop into my head.  Why they swirl round and around.

It makes me wonder if I am crazy.  Or if I am normal.

And then the thoughts disappear, down the drain of my consciousness.  To be replaced by new thoughts, new wonders, new swirls.

Only for the thoughts to back up back into my consciousness, unannounced, unexpected, unlooked for; like a clog, spilling over into my new thoughts and ideas.

Begging to be dealt with, lest the mess be made larger by ignoring the problem of the clogged thoughts.

And so I wonder how to deal with the clogged thoughts.

And just like a drain, I release them, out, into the universe.

Sharing them with you.

Advertisements