Archive for May, 2016


There are days when I wish this roller-coaster ride called being a step-parent was over.

There are days when I wish it would never end.

One wish out-weighs the other, but not because of the kids.  Rather because the bio-parent in our lives makes things so much more difficult than they have to be.

Last night, Jetsam called a family meeting with all of her kids.  In the 15 years that I’ve been with my husband, this is the first time she’s done that.  It makes me slightly uneasy because something like this, based on past experiences, typically means that she is plotting something.

I shouldn’t let it bother me, but – also based on past history – whenever she’s plotting something, it always turns out negative for the kids; which in turn, turns out negative for Hun and me.

Just a few days ago, Jetsam attempted to press charges against me for abuse against Monkey.

That backfired on her because the police that came to investigate ended up filing a family violence report against Monkey for assaulting me the evening prior.  At Hun and mine’s request, we asked the officer to call Jetsam to explain the situation, as we knew she wouldn’t take our word for it.  I could overhear the policeman telling Jetsam over the phone, after explaining everything, “No ma’am, you cannot file charges against Karaboo because there is nothing to file charges against.  Monkey is the one in trouble because she assaulted Karaboo, not the other way around.”

Hun and I made sure that Monkey knew that the reason we didn’t allow her to call her mom on the night everything happened was because we were attempting to protect her.  We reiterated everything the police officer said, that if they (the police) had been called out that night (which Jetsam would have immediately done), Monkey would already be behind bars at the Juvenile Detention Center (JDC).  As it stood, now that her mom had called the police, there was still the possibility that she may go to JDC.  The report was now in the hands of the detectives and DA to decide if they wanted to press charges and go forward.

I was asked and I declined to write a formal statement for the family violence report.  In my discussions with Hun, my opinion was that I did not want my name formally on anything associated with this report.  I did not want Jetsam or her family to point to my signature and say, “SEE!!  Karaboo is DIRECTLY responsible for what happened to you Monkey!  NOTHING would have happened to you if she had not written that statement!”

It doesn’t matter.  They will blame me anyway.  No matter what the outcome is.  They will absolve themselves and Monkey of any responsibility.

Monkey acts like this entire incident is no big deal.

She acts like her mom is going to protect her and not allow anything to happen to her.

My question to Monkey is – if the person you have put your trust into has lied to you in the past, failed to follow through on promises and cannot take care of herself without assistance from those around her – what makes Monkey think she’ll come through for her now?

Maybe she ought to re-think who she’s placed her trust in.

Which is really sad and makes me cry to think about.  You’re supposed to be able to trust your mom.  You’re supposed to be able to trust your dad.  When that trust is broken, it affects all areas of your life.

I suspect that Jetsam’s next step is to contact Child Protective Services (CPS) against Hun and me since the police were of no help to her.  I’m not sure why I suspect this, but it would be the next “logical” step in her mind.  She’ll do anything to show that we are abusive, as she’s been claiming for all of these years.

I won’t be surprised to get a knock on the door and a CPS worker is standing there asking to come in.  It might surprise Monkey and Jetsam that I will not hesitate to let them in.  Hun and I have done nothing wrong.  We have nothing to hide.

My only fear/wish is that if that knock comes my house is actually clean the way I like it to be cleaned.

Let The Journey Begin

I am about to embark on a very exciting journey!

I have decided to open up my own business.  I have the general idea in place and am currently working through a lot of the planning stages of a venture such as this.

I’ve never owned my own business.

I have no idea what to do, where to start, or what to expect.

But that’s okay, because I’m not the first person to take on this adventure.  Others have gone before me and have paved the way.  I have countless blog posts saved for aspects of this business idea that I haven’t even thought about yet.

Everything points to starting with a business plan.

Plan?  Like in lists?  And expectations?  And getting down to the nitty-gritty details?

AWESOME!

I LOVE planning!  I LOVE making lists!  I LOVE details!

I don’t love not knowing what I’m doing.  Sigh.

That’s okay – these road blocks, speed-bumps and detours are not negatives at all.  They are there to make sure that I am considering all angles and my business will have the best chance for success!

Every negative that has been thrown at me so far has been nothing but another bullet point on my planning list to explore, learn about and incorporate into my business plan.

Will I be successful?

I have no idea.

Will I regret not trying?

Yes!

Will I include everyone in on my journey?

You betcha!

An Open Offer

Dear Rowdy,

Happy 18th birthday!

I wish you every success for this next year and for every year after.

To help you with your success, I would like to offer you a gift – a gift that will keep on giving to you, long after you read this letter.

I would like to pay for you to take the GED test.  It does not matter the cost, the day you say, “this is the testing date I am attending”, I will pay the cost of that test for you.

I know you can pass the test RIGHT NOW.  I am so confident in your ability, that if you say the testing date is tomorrow, I will pay for you to take it, no questions asked.

You may have doubts about your own abilities.  I do not.

You may ask – what if I fail?

So what if you do?  What is the worst thing that will happen?

The worst thing that will happen is you still do not have a certificate that employers’ want that shows you are capable.  You are no worse off than you are right now.  However, you will be slightly ahead!  You will then know what subjects you need to focus on to pass the test the next time you take it.  You will have a better understanding of what to expect.  You will be prepared and the next time, you will succeed!

…..I don’t believe you will need a “next time”.

All you need is the faith in yourself, the same faith I have in you, to take the plunge and take the test.

Despite everything that we have gone through, I believe in you.  I care about your future.  I want you to succeed.  I want you to be happy.  I want you to be able to follow all of your dreams.

I care about you and I love you.