I’ve been thinking about my last post.  About how I confronted Jetsam in front of the kids.  About her giving up on her children.

As I stated, it wasn’t said to hurt or with maliciousness – but I’m sure it hurt anyway.  I know it did.  But I also know that in their hearts, the kids already knew the truth.  It was like a scar had been ripped open, exposed, and there was nothing they could do about it.

This makes me hurt for these kids.  I would never have done half of what their own mom has done to them.  It makes me ashamed that I caused them hurt as well.

I’m not excusing my behavior.  Maybe I am.  I don’t know anymore.  Maybe reading the following, as a reader, you’ll understand better why I said what I said.

All I know is that I have watched lie after lie after lie be spoken against their Dad and myself.  That accountability from their mom was dismissed and all blame be laid at our feet.

Recently, Jetsam made the comment to Hun and myself that it wasn’t her fault that she couldn’t get custody of the kids back.  That she was requested to do unreasonable things by the court – things she couldn’t complete, hoops she couldn’t jump through – to get her kids back.

Of course, this was said outside of the kids’ hearing – when it was just Hun, Jetsam and I.

Some of the things she stated:

  • The courts required her to complete parenting classes. She couldn’t comply because she didn’t have the money.
    • This was the first we had heard about this requirement. We knew we had to attend parenting classes within a certain time frame of having temporary custody of the children – but we were never informed, nor did we know, that she was also required to do these classes.
    • As a mom myself – NOTHING – would have kept me from attending those classes if it was a requirement of getting my child(ren) back.
  • The courts required her to stay within the county. She couldn’t comply because it limited her job opportunities.
    • We also knew nothing of this requirement. Court was in one county – during the custody hearing, once the judge ruled that Jetsam needed to be stable for one year before considering giving custody back, she asked if it was okay that she was moving that very weekend – out of the county we were in.  The judge agreed.
    • This move wasn’t something that was forced onto Jetsam. She made the choice to move to a location that was miles away from job opportunities.  Hun and I are both VERY aware of the location she moved to – we both moved out of that area in our pasts because of the lack of jobs.  Jetsam had lived there previously as well – she knew what she was moving back into.

I guess the point of this is to say, she did give up on getting custody of her children back.  She did not follow through on any of requirements of the court that I’m aware of – except for one.

What I’m aware of: this is what the judge verbally stated in court:

  • Stable home for one year.
  • Stable job for one year.
  • Get rid of the loser boyfriend. (Judge’s words, not mine!)

What we weren’t aware of until just recently:

  • Complete parenting classes.
  • Stay within the county.

Based on her mode of operation – there are probably other stipulations that we are yet unaware of.

The only requirement that she actually complied with was breaking up with the boyfriend.  The others – she did not comply with based on her own statements or actual observations by Hun and myself.

In my view, she lied to her children.  She went so far to give up on them.  She disagrees with that assessment.

We’ll see if she actually attempts to gain custody of Monkey as she says she will.

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