There is something wrong with someone like me.

I just finished with a week off of work.  I had no plans, no agenda and no direction for the week.  It was a week off just to take a week off.  I had plans, a list to make sure I didn’t forget about anything important that had to be done (scheduled events), but nothing earth-shattering.  One morning, I didn’t crawl out of bed until noon.

So….why do I not feel refreshed?

I spent time cheering my kids on at band competitions, shopping with my sister-in-law, cuddling with my Hun and working on Christmas gifts.  I worked on some craft projects, did a little house cleaning and caught up on my recorded shows.

By all accounts, the week should be counted as a complete success.

But I feel unfulfilled.

Why?

I’ve been thinking a lot about the “Why do I feel unfulfilled?” question.

I started this post just to be posting something, but while I was typing, I discovered the answer to my own question.

I work best with a purpose.  I need a purpose in my life.  I want to know that what I’ve done (for the minute, day, week, life) has meaning and serves a purpose.

This week off had no “purpose” in my life – other than to use vacation time (my company has a “use it or lose it policy”).  I didn’t go into the week with any defined goals for myself for the week.

Yes….for me….defined goals do include “rest and relaxation” – when I purposely set my mind to that goal.

I had no set purpose or goals for the week – other than to use my vacation time before I lost it – I just took the time off to be taking the time off.

No wonder I feel so unfulfilled!

Going forward, I MUST set an expectation for myself for weeks like this:

  • Is the time off primarily for relaxation?
  • Is the time off primarily for organization/cleaning?
  • Is there a set agenda (vacation or other activity) dictating the time off?

While the time off may, at the core, be to use vacation time before I lose it, there must be a primary reason for my time to fill purposeful.

Hun thinks I’m too hard on myself.  He cannot understand why I don’t just relax and enjoy the week.

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I can relax and enjoy – I just have to mentally plan for it.  My mind will not allow me to relax if it has 20 different things constantly screaming in the background that I should be doing “X, Y or Z” instead.

After being at my company for over 20 years, I have a ton of vacation time to use.  I have decided to begin requesting time off at regular intervals.  So I’m already planning on my next week off in a few months.  Another week off to just have a week off to use up vacation time before I “lose it”.

I plan on feeling much more fulfilled on my next scheduled vacation thanks to the insight that typing this post has brought me.

Thanks for the help guys!

 

 

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