About a month ago, I walked out on my husband.

Packed my bags, had Buddy pack his bags, and we left.

I have no idea how long we stayed gone. I know I planned on checking us into a hotel while I figured out my next steps. I have friends and family who have said that I’d always have a place to stay with them if I ever needed – but I didn’t want to go that route. This was between me and Hun – I didn’t need any help bashing Hun – I was doing a pretty good job on my own, both verbally and in my own head. What I needed was to talk through my frustration with someone who would understand, not lay blame and hold me accountable as well.

After all – a marriage takes two to make it work.

I was a wreck.  Bawling non-stop clued me in that I still loved Hun – very much.  I didn’t want our marriage to end, but I couldn’t handle what our life had become either.

I finally decided that how I blew up and stormed out wasn’t fair to Hun. He never saw it coming and was quite frankly blindsided by the whole event. Having the benefit of hindsight a month later he might say he saw some warning signs, but I know in the moment he was clueless.

So I took Buddy home and picked Hun up. We drove until finding an empty parking lot where we sat and talked for several hours – just the two of us.

We decided that we did want to work on our marriage and we made a plan. I told Hun that I could not come back unless there was a plan. No plan meant I was going to accept how things were and would deal with it. That wasn’t good enough. I couldn’t deal with life as we knew it any longer the way things were.

So….we’re working through our plan.

We’re in marriage counseling and individual counseling.

Hun is stepping up and taking on more responsibility with the kids.

We’re sitting down as a couple to plan our weekly budget together.

I’m going back to the doctor to make sure my medication levels are correct.

Blatant disrespect by any of the kids towards either adult will not be tolerated. Period. (Don’t get me wrong – I know the difference between a kid being a kid and one who’s deliberately being a pill.)

And we’re trying. That’s it – we’re trying.

Marriage on a good day can be hard. Adding in a second marriage with a blended family, it becomes that much harder. Add in exes who blame you for everything and poison the children’s minds against the other parent, can make a marriage next to impossible to survive.

We’re going to survive – I’m stubborn remember?  We will make this work.

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