One Child

Cute As a Button with Mischievous Grin

Angelic While Sleeping after a Hard Day of Creating Chaos

Answers to the Name of:

“Not Me”

REWARD offered to ANYONE who will claim this child

I have no idea where this child, Not Me, came from, but I’m ready for them to go home!

Not Me splattered mashed potatoes on my dining room painting (I’m still finding dried flecks imbedded in the grooves years later).

Not Me somehow streaked grape jelly on my living room ceiling (velocity trail indicates it hit the “on” ceiling fan first).

Not Me ripped a huge hole in a screen window.

Not Me piled concrete stepping stones in the branches of our front tree.

Not Me dug holes all throughout our yard (wasn’t the dogs – they’re responsible for the holes in my flower beds).

Not Me eats all of my special cereal that I put back just for me – even after I make sure there is plenty of the same cereal for the rest of the family.

Not Me eats my ice cream bar – even when it is spelled out that everyone gets two and only two!  I usually end up with only one – if I’m lucky.

Not Me has made all of the messes in my kids’ rooms.

Not Me has dropped all sorts of assorted items down the dryer lint screen hole – we’ve cleaned out pencils, pens, clothes pins, clothes line clips, crayons, earrings, money and more.  We’ve found the items because they jam the fan motor to the point the dryer stops working.

Not Me has overstuffed the washing machine multiple times creating new repair jobs.

Not Me leaves empty drinking glasses all over the house.

Not Me has lost most of my spoons – out of a set of 12, I only have 3 left.  Same for the forks, tea spoons, and other assorted cutlery.

Not Me rearranges my cupboards on a regular basis where I cannot find the item I need to cook.

Not Me eats all of the ingredients for dinner – how can a package of 18 eggs be gone less than 5 days after I bought it?

I am positive there are other things that Not Me has done – I just haven’t found out about them yet!

So….if you, or anyone you know, has any idea where Not Me belongs….Please, PLEASE let me know!  I’ll even pay the shipping charges to send them back to where they belong!

Or…if no one claims them, would anyone like to help chip in for me to send Not Me to Outer Mongolia?