As promised, here is the first installment of my week from H-E-Double-hockey Sticks. I’m posting from my TouchPad, so please forgive any typos!

You already heard about my initial dealings on Monday with Flotsam, so I won’t bore you with more right now. Instead, since I’ve already received comments asking about the visit from the officers, I’ll start there.

The day started out just fine, until we were finishing up dinner. Rowdy lingered after everyone else had gotten up and I could tell he wanted to talk. So I lingered as well and was rewarded with his reason for waiting.

He commented, “So Monkey turns 13 next year, right? At that time, we can all write letters requesting to move back in with our mom and the judge will let us, right?”

I really hate having to be the one to shed truth and reality into the kids’ lives. Jetsam does none of them any favors by telling them half-truths and only what they want to hear. However, I do not believe in lying to the kids, but I will make sure what I tell them is the truth in an age appropriate way.

So I told him the truth. That transfer of custody is not a given just because the kids want to move. That an investigation would happen of both households, history would be reviewed and a determination of what was BEST for the kids would be decided by the judge based on facts and not emotions. A process like this would take a minimum of six months, but probably closer to a year. The letters the kids write would be taken into consideration, but by no means a guarantee, again based on facts presented to the judge.

At various points, Rowdy attempted to interject about how great Jetsam is doing right now. How she is doing way better than she’s done, ever, since they moved in with us. I agreed with him, she was doing great, but the fact still remains that she has moved 5 times in the last 6 years. Not a history that screams stable, especially since 2 years ago she was on the verge of being homeless.

The truth was delivered gently, but it still hurt.

This is where hind-sight comes in. I know now that what happened next was a direct result of Rowdy lashing out at being presented the truth earlier in the evening. If I had realized that then, we might have had a different outcome to the night. But we weren’t that enlightened at the time and what happened next is what happened.

Rowdy was asked to get ready for bed and responded with blatant disrespect towards both Hun and I. Neither Hun nor I will put up with that and called him on it. An all out power struggle ensued. Not a pretty sight when it involves a 14 year old. Rowdy puffed up even more and displayed even more disrespect towards Hun.

Hun then open-palmed slapped Rowdy in the face for the things coming out of his mouth.

Things were tense for a moment when both Hun and I wondered if Rowdy was going to start fighting his father. We could tell he thought about it, and then thought better of it. Rowdy may now be taller than his dad, but his dad still has size and experience on his side.

It took about 20 minutes after that moment for everyone to calm down and Rowdy do what we had originally asked him to do (brush his teeth). No harm, no foul, Rowdy went to bed and we went back to our evening.

And then the phone rang. It was Jetsam, wondering what the hell was going on at our house. Hun told her, listened to her go off for a minute or two and then hung up on her ranting. He figured out pretty quickly that one of the girls had probably called or texted her. He also discovered that Jetsam texted back to them that she had called the cops on us for child abuse.

It took less than a minute after we discovered that tidbit for the officer to knock on our door. We invited her in and gave a short explanation of what had happened earlier. She asked to talk to the kids which we allowed without any hesitation. We had nothing to hide.

In walked another officer, the same from an incident before I started blogging (I think), and said, “Hello! Nice to see you again!” He definitely remembered the incident before when Rowdy called 911 on us at Jetsam’s direction when Hun decided to actually give him a spanking for lying (about 2 years ago). Jetsam told Rowdy that it was abuse and not allow his father to lay a hand on him. When the officer showed up, he offered to stand as witness to Hun giving Rowdy a spanking to ensure it did not cross into abuse. Yes, that officer walked in.

After the first officer was done talking with the kids and examining Rowdy’s face, she and the second walked back into our dining room and stated they were done with their welfare check of the home. And then both of them stated, “Thank you for disciplining your children. As officers, we just want to say thank you.” We were speechless at that moment.

They also warned us to not be surprised if CPS was called as they have seen incidents like this that included a call to them, but to not sweat it and just allow the investigation to happen as they see no evidence of abuse. We thanked them for their time, service and bid them to stay safe on their rounds as they left our home.

After they had left, Hun was amazed that the officers thanked us. He just knew he was going to jail because that’s what our society has come to it seems. Parents afraid of standing up to their kids, exes threatening to sue if one action is taken against THEIR child – forgetting that they had the child with another person who should have equal, reasonable, say in how the child should be raised.

Hun’s not thrilled that he slapped his son, but neither is he ok with allowing his 14 year old to think he can call the shots in our house. We witness how Rowdy talks to Jetsam and that’s exactly what she allows him to do at her house – call the shots.

Call us child-abusers all you want, we will not have a child talk to any adult the way he did in our presence, especially not in my/our house. I’m sure there is more to come on this incident, so stay tuned!

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