I am spitting angry right now.

I can’t believe the gall! ….the nerve! …..the ….the…..ARGH!!!!

Just who in the world does he think he is?!?  Huh?!?  HUH!?!

In case you’re wondering….it’s Flotsam I’m grumbling about….

I know better – I really do.  I know better than to comment about things being quiet when he’s involved.  Remember me saying Buddy hasn’t spent any time with him or spoken on the phone more than 5 minutes at a time with him since September?  Well – that’s obviously changed now – things are definitely NOT quiet any longer.

He called two weeks ago to exercise his visitation rights – 30 minutes before they were supposed to happen.  I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this fact on my blog or not, but when I requested change of custody, I put a couple of hoops in there for my benefit and sanity on top of safety concerns for Buddy.  The major condition is that visitation is now “supervised” (library or other public place) and only for 2 hour stretches on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Sunday of the month.  The exact day I’m willing to be flexible on (I’m fine with Saturday’s if plans allow for it), along with the exact time, but nothing else.  One of the hoops Flotsam has is he’s supposed to call 72 hours in advance of the visitation schedule to confirm his intention of exercising his visitation rights.

Now, this may seem a little harsh on my end to make him jump through this hoop, but please believe me when I say I put it there for a reason.  Just like two weeks ago, Flotsam would always drop out of sight for weeks and months at a time and then show up out of nowhere demanding to see his son.  Regardless of what our plans already were, he would insist we drop them and allow him to see Buddy simply because “it’s his fatherly right to see his son”.  So, to save my sanity, I requested from the judge and was granted the stipulation that I had to have notice – as long as I was willing to be flexible to a certain degree.  Done.

When he called two weeks ago and spoke with me, he understood immediately that visitation wouldn’t happen.  I’m pretty sure he was trying to make a point to Buddy that I’m the one being unreasonable with this hoop.  I’ve had enough discussions with Buddy that I think he understands why this request is there – he’s been on the receiving end enough times of his dad NOT showing up to know why I did this.

Two weeks ago, plans were made that he would see Buddy this coming Saturday.  I figured the first call this morning from Flotsam was to confirm that.  Work is stressful enough, so I never answer calls from him while there.  Two more calls and a voicemail message later told me that something was up.  But I restrained myself from calling until I left work.

That’s when he dropped his “Plan” on me.

Flotsam is currently not working – hasn’t worked in quite some time.  How he survives is a mystery to me and a small source of frustration (after all, why am I the shlub that works and he gets to go through life not?).

Flotsam is currently behind in child support by a fairly respectable amount – according to him around $3500.00 – or around 14 months.  That amount is nothing to sneeze at for sure; but in the grand scheme of who owes the most back child support; he’s not even a blip on the government’s radar and I know that.  I gave up keeping track of what he owes years ago when I had the state take over our case.

Flotsam is also currently behind on his house taxes – according to our conversation today.

Flotsam – according to him – can’t work to make any of these payments, so he’s come up with a sure-fire way to solve both problems.

I need to just give him back the money he gave me to hold for Buddy’s benefit – a savings account of sorts from his dad.  Flotsam will use that money to pay me the back child support amount and catch up on his taxes and everything will be right in the world!

See?  Simple!

Except for the fact that he wants me to give him his son’s money to pay for his debt by paying off the child support owed to me.

I didn’t even let him finish his thought before I let loose on him in grand fury saying I would not participate in any way, shape or form of him “stealing” money from his son to basically pay me off!  That any debt Flotsam owed was his and his alone, and I would not allow OUR son to pay for HIS responsibilities!

My how Flotsam stammered and stuttered; told me how wrong I was and then grudgingly admitted that I was right, but he would make it better – PROMISE!


He went on.  Stating he was trying to save his son’s inheritance (the house Flotsam currently lives in that he claims is worth around $160K – I’m guessing the true reality is more like $80K) and that $5K is a small price to pay for the chance at the true payout – the value of the house when he finally dies.  If only it was that easy.  I told him he was crazy if he thought I would allow him to piss-away his son’s money on such a scheme.   He showed his true colors though when he yelled at me to shut up and listen to him and try to understand what he was trying to tell me.

Telling me to shut up typically has the exact opposite effect of actually getting me to shut up….just an FYI.

At one point, he told me that I would look horrible to the courts if I didn’t cooperate with him, mark his words – he’ll see me in court as soon as he gets on his feet.  I dared him to take me to court.  A few sentences later, he was trying to appeal to my rational side and again, I told him to take me to court if he disagreed with how I was handling Buddy’s money.  He claimed he never brought up going to court, that was my threat.  The short phone conversation ended with me telling him in no uncertain terms that he would not be seeing any money from me or Buddy.

My last question to him was if he was still planning to see his son on Saturday and at what time.  If the ice in my voice didn’t pound home to him my true feelings, the sound of the phone clicking as I hung up on him after he answered surely did.

Now I just need to worry about what sad sob-story might be said to Buddy on Saturday to try and manipulate convince him of what an awesome plan Flotsam has come up with.  I’ll have to think about this…..

Does it ever end?