Well, it’s official.

I have a new job.

I’m not sure when I “officially” start, but I’m betting it will be “soon” as in “tomorrow”.  You see, my new job is located only inches away from my current location.  Roll my chair 3 inches to the right and I’m the “Office Operations Lead”.  Roll my chair 3 inches to the left and I’m the new “Credentialing Specialist”.  Leave my chair exactly in the middle and I have the best of both jobs and all of the stress that goes along with juggling two positions.

To be fair, I’ve been doing two jobs for at least the last 3 months now.  My co-worker – I’ll just call her V since I’m lacking in the creativity department today – has been doing the bulk of the extra work for these last 3 months, so I’m really not complaining (too much).  When we were given the new project, V had to take control of the job because she was/is the only one in the office qualified.  I’m not being dramatic here – it’s the truth and all 3 of us in the office know it (including our boss).

Because of the sheer scope of the new work, V could not do any of her own work (as her 70-80 hour work weeks attest to) and literally dumped all of her files on my desk.  Literally.  Dumped.  Everything.  I had no idea what to do with the files, no idea where she was in her process, no idea what I was supposed to do next.  I would get vague answers to my questions that were rarely of real help; mostly I received responses of “you know how to do this” and “I don’t have time to deal with that right now” and “that’s not a priority right now” to “why is this not done?  It’s a priority!”

I had a vague idea of what to do, but only from learning by osmosis from previous months of getting ready for our monthly meetings, scanning completed documents into our computer system, overhearing her conversations on the phone and making less-than-semi-educated guesses on things based on other facets of my original job.  Our boss, and our boss’s boss, could see we were struggling and approved the hiring of an additional person.  That new person, Diane (I’m not going to bother giving her a fake name, she’ll probably not make another appearance), lasted a whopping 4 weeks.  She’s no longer employed by our company by her own choice.  I swear we didn’t run her off on purpose!

It has been a trial-by-fire training course these last 3 months.  I spent several different sessions, in my boss’s office, crying from the stress, from screwing up, not knowing how to fix the mistakes, and knowing that I know that I don’t know what I’m doing.  I spent even more sessions, after coming home, locked away in my bedroom, crying on Hun’s shoulders, asking what was I thinking when I took this job on a year ago?  Both my boss and Hun, patted me on the back, lifted me up, and encouraged me to keep on keeping on.

Gee…thanks….

Neither of them accepted my very loud protests that I was the worst screw up EVER, that I didn’t deserve their kindness or understanding.  Both disagree and state I’ve done a wonderful job with what I have and where I started at.  Both are constantly saying how much they love me.  Both are out of their freaking minds!  Neither of them accepted my offers of quitting or divorce, so they’re still stuck with me.  So what do they do instead?

Boss has, instead of hiring a replacement for Diane, offered me a new job, to take on the work that V took over, the work that she refuses take on permanently – V wants to go back to her old job, the one she’s been doing for 20+ years, the work she dumped on my desk.  Hun left the decision to me whether or not to accept.  Their answer to my current stress is to encourage and allow me to take on even MORE stress.  I say again….

Gee….thanks…..

Seeking council from a very close friend (okay – I HAVE to give her a nick-name…. ummm…. hmmm…. well, let me get back to you on that – PROMISE!!) in the “know” about my industry, she agreed I was in over my head and way under-qualified, but waved my concerns away and encouraged me to go for it anyway.  More accurately, she stated “Your life will always be chaos, don’t let that excuse and lack of experience keep you from this excellent opportunity”.  I’m not sure if I should hate her or thank her…..ask me in another year.

She’s right of course, she usually is.  If I wait until I feel ready for the job, then it will have already passed me by and I might not get a second chance at it.  I learned that lesson years ago.

So off into the abyss I go…..

Wish me luck!

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