For years now, I have alluded to myself as the “Evil” parent and/or step-parent.

For years, people have asked me on occasion why I would refer to myself as “Evil” when it is obvious to them that I am not “Evil”.

I think I’m finally ready to explain why I do this.

I do it as a form of self-preservation.  If I call myself evil, then the power of that word is no longer powerful over me.  I hold the power of that word, no one else has control of it when spoken in regards to me.  I have the power to make the word “Evil”, evil or not.  I have the power, no one else.

Someone who calls me horrible, mean, controlling or whatever adjective they have that day is nothing compared to the word “Evil”.  Evil is the worst – no matter what you are speaking of, if something is “Evil” there is nothing worse in this world.  Evil conjures up images of the Devil, fires in Hell and every other horrible thing a person can possibly imagine.

None of these horrible things are brought to mind when a person deals with me in the normal course of the day.  I am usually calm, rational, and logical.  I have been told that I can be funny, silly and have a wicked sense of sarcasm.  I have a clear sense of right and wrong, but I can see the shades of gray in most circumstances.  I am harder on myself than others are of my mistakes.

Through all of my life, I have had people that I have to deal with that would rather I be nowhere in their lives.  My Ex – Flotsam – is one of those people.  Sometimes, my step-kids and their mom – Jetsam – are right there as well – they wish I didn’t exist.  Occasionally, telemarketers on the other end of the phone wish I didn’t know their numbers when the service is less than what was promised or guaranteed.

Through all of this, I have been called names.  Usually when I’m not cooperating with whoever is calling me that name:

Flotsam loves to call me an Unreasonable, Psychotic Bitch when I don’t go along with his plans.  I have learned to calmly explain to him that if he’d like me to live up to that name, I’d be glad to oblige him.  He doesn’t call me that often because he knows I’ll follow through if he continues to follow through.  The names he calls me is nothing compared to the “Evil Ex-Wife” label I ascribe to myself.

The kids love to tell me that they “HATE” me!  I have learned to laugh at them when they do that.  There is no power in the word “hate” when I agree and add in – “that’s right, I’m the “Evil” mom/step-mom.”  With the kids, I am more compassionate and tell them that I love them even if they hate me, but I’m not going to be swayed by the word “hate”.  It is my job to raise them the best way I know how, regardless of what they think of me.  Again – the names the kids call me are nothing compared to the “Evil Step-Mom” name I have given myself.

No matter what I have been called, no one has yet to actually agree with my self-imposed label.

Why?

Because they can’t call me anything worse than what I call myself.  And they can’t quite agree with me because they know I’m not actually “Evil”.

I proudly call myself “Evil”.

Because I know it’s not true.  They know it’s not true.  Now you know it’s not true either.  Feel free to call me “Evil”.  I will smile, nod and agree with you – wholeheartedly.

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