I love teasing everyone.

Not mean teasing, but goofy, laughable, leave-them-wondering-if-I’m-serious type teasing.

This is probably because I was raised with a lot of humor in my family growing up.  My father – I’ll call him Dad* – has a wicked sense of humor that I apparently inherited (yeesh – give me some credit will ya?  I can’t be funny ALL of the time).  Also – he has this amazing ability to deliver dead-pan deliveries to something so absurd that you can’t help but wonder if what he is saying is true or not.  As a child on the receiving end of these stories, I can tell you, it made for some interesting times…..

Like…..

Driving along the interstate on vacation one year at around age 8 or 9, I clearly remember looking out the window at the barren scenery.  A divided 4 lane highway, pastures on both sides of the road as far as the eye can see, barbed wire fencing keeping the cows away from the road and……rocks….lots of rocks….piled up on the pasture side of the barbed wire fencing only, for miles upon miles – rocks lined up on the pasture side of the barbed wire fencing.  These rocks were not small either, but good size chunks and there were enough of them to catch my eye.  Especially since NONE and I mean not one single rock was to be found on the highway side of the fence, but plenty on the pasture side.

I pondered this scene for several miles before asking Dad the serious question of why there would only be rocks on one side of the fence and not the other.  He thought about it for only a second or two…..and gave me this answer:

“The fence is there to keep the rocks from crossing the road so they won’t get hurt.”

I was an adult before I think I finally figured out why those rocks were only on one side of the fence.

What about the time the family was playing charades for New Year’s.  Dad’s contribution to the suggestion pile was “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” – yeah, ok, that’s an easy clue – no problem there Dad!  Sheesh!!

At another family get-together, Dad and his brothers would serenade whoever happened to be sitting there with a less-than-flattering song choice – like “Roll On Big Momma” for Grandma or “All My Ex’s Live In Texas” to Uncle’s current girl-friend of the month.

Or the time…..

He….ummm…..

He said……ummm……well…..

Shoot!  I can’t remember any others at the moment, but just trust me – he’s a funny guy!  To know him is to laugh when he is around.

So it’s no surprise to me anymore when crazy things come out of my mouth:

Like Hun commenting that a job posting he’s looking at requires 5 years of collection experience – I respond with, “Does attempting to collect Child Support count?”

Or when we first got our dog Honey, at the time I also called Hun Honey as his nick-name.  I went around telling everyone, “Now I have two dogs named Honey!”  Hun did not see the humor in this……

Just yesterday, I went to the junior high to have a planned meeting with Buddy’s teachers and vice-principal regarding the classes he will be taking next year in high school.  Both Buddy and I were totally unprepared for them to call him into this meeting too, but I still couldn’t resist the opportunity to lay it on thick with him about how much trouble he was in for being called to The Office (the least trouble-making kid out of the four….and he knows it).  The dis-believing grin/worried look on Buddy’s face as he said, “I swear I didn’t do anything wrong Mom, PROMISE!!” was more than I could handle before cracking up laughing and letting him off the hook.

I’m so glad my kids have learned not to take things from me too seriously…..otherwise, I might actually live up to the evilness that I keep bottled up that is reserved for Exes.

Just remember – It’s all Dad’s Fault.

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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