I’m a dunce.

No really, I feel stupid.

I got schooled yesterday on how to work a copy machine.

So much for me being an office genius……or so they’ve been told.  I’m sure my office-mates are currently questioning if my raise was worth it.

Copy machines these days are more advanced than ever before.  I’m used to the things copying, collating and maybe – just maybe – if you’re really, really nice to it, it’ll also staple for you without jamming every other page.

Wouldn’t you know, I was shown what a truly moronic backwards hick regarding technology I really am.

Copy machines these days will not only do all of the above, but will also print in color, punch holes (3-holed paper will be going the way of the dinosaurs pretty soon), and probably more tricks that I’m not privy to just yet.

I also found out that if they are connected to the network, you don’t even have to get off your duff to print anything.  That’s right, if our jobs weren’t already sedentary enough, now we don’t even have to get up to copy anything.  Just point, click and sit back and let the printer do the work for you.

This is outrageous!!

Don’t developers know that the copy machine is the last frontier, the last sacred cow, where office workers have an excuse to stretch, visit and goof off – all in the name of waiting on the copy job to get done?  Do they really expect us to stay at our desks and keep our noses to the grindstone?  I can’t even wrap my head around this egregious assault on common office protocol.

Is there no respect anymore?

…..At least I now know how to tell the copier to handle my every whim……

If only the developers would create a copy machine that un-jams, reloads the paper hoppers all on its own, make coffee, pick up the mail and deals with those annoying customers all with a click of the mouse – then office workers would rejoice!!