Friday was my last day in the department that has given me my current career direction.  My desk is empty, the emails have all been cleared out and good-byes have been said.  It feels weird – again – to think about walking into the building and going to a new location.  I hope I remember where I’m going!

The last two weeks have also be the most stressful I have ever dealt with at work.  I have left the department before; multiple times for other opportunities (what can I say?  I’m the sucker that kept coming back), but this time was different.  There was anxiety oozing off of everyone, and the resentment is/was thick.  I also sensed jealousy that I got out with bigger and better offers while the others didn’t.

For two weeks, I have been attempting to teach my replacement everything I have learned over the last 17 years.  It’s an impossible feat and she’s feeling the pressure of filling my shoes.  No amount of reassurance from me that she’ll be fine has helped her anxiety.  The un-fair pressure she’s been experiencing from others in the business has me convinced more than ever that the department is going to be disbanded, and soon.  She senses it as well and wonders if her job will be safe.  I don’t blame her – I see what she sees and more.

For two weeks, I have also been attempting to help my other co-worker, the one that has been cruising along in her job for over 18 years.  This is the one that has been protected by our boss from changes, new procedures and growing to be a better employee for well over 15 years.  Things she should have learned how to do years ago, she doesn’t remember how to do or never learned.  She’s stressed and pissed that she’s suddenly being expected to know everything – with little to no advanced training by anyone.

I get why she’s mad, and I hold myself partially responsible for her lack of training.  I should have been forcing her to do some of the things she would always pass off to me because she didn’t know how to do it.  Instead, I took the work and just did it myself because it was easier rather than spending the time to make her learn the process.  Hind-sight it 20/20 and I don’t take full responsibility for this, but I do feel guilty anyway.

Although, I don’t know why I should feel guilty – I’ve attempted to show her more things.  These last two weeks have really highlighted the struggles I have had with this coworker over the years with glaring clarity.  One morning, I glanced at her (she was reading a book) and I commented that once I was done with X project in 5 minutes, I needed to show her how to do Z task.  She immediately closed her book and stated, “I forgot, I have to do Y work.  Once I finish that, you can show me how to do Z.”  Two days later, she was still working on Y and hadn’t finished every time I asked her about showing her Z task.  I’m “officially” no longer in the department and she still hasn’t been shown how to do Z task that she will be expected to know Monday morning.

The grapevine at my work is alive and well also.  The buzz from areas that shouldn’t have any advance heads-up is the department is in its final days.  My (now former) boss is living in the Land of Denial and refuses to believe anything is wrong.  She’s choosing to believe her boss (my mentor – one of the vice presidents of the company) that all is well.  She’s conveniently ignoring the fact that my mentor (a vice president) was in the dark as well when the major bru-ha-ha came down a year ago that affected another one of her (the vice president’s) direct reports.  Just more reason to believe the department is finally going away after all of the years.  I don’t think I’ll be going back to this department any time soon, if ever.

Add to all of this stress the fact that I haven’t had one day of training for my new position that begins this week and it’s no wonder I can’t wait until vacation gets here.

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