My life is full of more drama than I know what to do with some days.  Anyone want to share in this wealth of mine?  As I write this, I am alone in my office.  It’s quiet, except for the radio in the background announcing the morning news.   I currently feel like the last man standing.  That’s not accurate of course, but it sure feels that way anyway.

Last week, the recession finally hit my office.  If you had asked me 2 years ago if I would have seen this coming, I could have told you “sure”, but I wouldn’t have believed myself.  The industry I’m in – healthcare – is considered “safe” from recession – HA!  What a joke!  Tell that to my younger co-worker, with 3 young kids, who had to go home to tell her husband (who is also currently without a job) that she was just laid-off. 

That could have/should have been me.  She reminds me so much of myself when I was her age:  wickedly smart, but clueless; gung-ho, but laid-back; quick-witted, but quiet.  She’s dealing with some of the same things I have at that age as well – crazy in-laws/family, a not-too-helpful husband (mine is now an ex), and a distant psychotic bio-parent  (her oldest is not her bio-son, but she and her husband have custody and are currently going through the adoption process to make him theirs).  My heart aches for her, but at the same time – since I see so much of myself in her – I know she’ll be okay.

Why?  Because people like me and her are survivors.  You might knock me down, but I’ll rise back up and prove you wrong – just to spite you if I can figure out an angle.  I’m not inherently evil like that, but it is an added bonus in life if I can get my digs in while passing you by with my tongue stuck out, my thumbs in my ears and my fingers waggling like crazy.  Wait….maybe that does make me evil…..or…..maybe just human. 

I’m continuing in my evil ways and have decided that this sinking ship of an office I work for can no longer be bailed out by me.  My bucket has gotten too small for the amount of refuse flowing through the gaps.  My boss may be the captain of this ship, but she’s delegated the direction of progress to me by refusing to determine the direction herself.  She has elected to stay holed up in her office and allow me to decide on my next call.  She’s in for a surprise.

My call is to “Abandon Ship!”

I have an interview with another department on Friday.  I have mixed feelings about this.  On one hand, I can’t wait around waiting on someone else to rescue me from this sinking ship.  On the other hand, my boss was there for me and has been there for me through so much in my life career-wise, so how can I just abandon her?  And that is how she will view it – that I am abandoning her.  Welcome to my evil side.

However, I put the responsibility of this sinking ship directly on her shoulders.  She will attempt to pawn it off on me as well, like she has so much of the running of this office, but this time I’m refusing to accept the burden.  Attempting to take any more work responsibilities onto my shoulders at this point will land me in the psych-ward. 

The really sad part is, the other co-worker that is left in my office is currently on vacation to Hawaii.  She knows about the lay-off, but is unaware of my plans to bail on the department.  By the time she returns, I will probably have a good idea if I have the other job or not.  Do you think she will get the hint if I post a sign on our office door that states:

“Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here”

Although, spending a few days in the psych-ward, with all of the really good drugs and a padded room sounds like bliss right about now too.  <<Sigh>>

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