After much deliberating, I decided that Flotsam and Jetsam needed a little more information added so you would have a clearer picture of my later rants about them.  Those that know me well will already know this information – you’ve heard me talk about them often enough.  Those that don’t know Flotsam and Jetsam, I swear I’m not making any of this up!  The basic accounts are true, only the exacting details are blurred to protect my kids, my husband and myself.  Is there a possibility that they will find out about this blog and make my life more complicated?  Oh yes, definitely – but I like to live dangerously!!  <<evil grin>>

I’ll start with Flotsam, my ex-husband and father to Buddy.  I’ll use father in the loosest sense of the word right now.  Due to a series of “unfortunate” events in Flotsam’s life – heavy drug use, assault charges, jail time and who he choses to associate with – I have been cast as the horrible, evil mother that only lives to keep father and son apart as I legally requested through the courts, and was granted, to have sole-custody of Buddy with Flotsam having limited, supervised visitations.  Of course, none of the “unfortunate” events in Flotsam’s life are his fault and I should learn to be a more Christian woman and forgive and forget his past transgressions.  I should ignore all current behavior on his part and accept it as his “trying to do the right thing” and forgive the mistakes he made in the past – regardless of if the past and present are mirror images of each other.  It might be wise to note here that I whole-heartedly believe that Flotsam is a sociopath.  Not a Ted-Bundy-Kill-You type, but definitely a sociopath with his lies, deceit, and twisting of words.  I won’t go further here as I’m trying to keep the post short {{WAKE UP BACK THERE!!  I SEE YOU SNOOZING!}}, but I still believe it anyway,  so you’ll have to take my word for now.

It is worth noting that Flotsam has no job, and when he did, he was working at a fast food restaurant.  Child support is almost non-existent, except for when he receives a payout from a trust fund his parents set up for him.  That trust fund is almost tapped out, if not already, then soon.  It should be noted that Flotsam is 55 years old (to my 36), old enough to know better about everything.  Why did I marry him?  Hindsight being 20/20, I married him to get out of my parents’ house and he was the quickest ticket I knew – sorry if this hurts Mom and Dad, but it’s the truth.

Now – on to Jetsam – Hun’s ex-wife and mother to my current step-kids (I also had step-kids with Flotsam – I’m sure I’ll be sharing about them in the future as well).  Jetsam is my age and is insanely jealous and scared of me.  Why?  I have no idea why – I’m a sweet, innocent bystander caught in the cross-hairs of hers.  She blames me for all of her problems – literally!  Lets go down a basic listing of hers:

  • I caused the break up of Jetsam and Hun.  Let’s see, Hun and Jetsam separated briefly after Monkey was born in September – about a month.  After getting back together, Hun discovered Jetsam was meeting up with men she was talking to on the internet and while she claims she wasn’t doing anything with them, the weekend she was away convinced Hun differently.  They totally separated in late January/early February of that next year.  She had an internet boyfriend move in with her in within weeks.  Hun and I started dating in July of the same year – we never talked before July even though we worked in the same place that year.  Within 3 weeks of us dating, Hun found out that Jetsam was 3 months pregnant from her internet boyfriend.  Yeah – I was the cause of their marriage failing.
  • I’m a College-Educated Woman, From a Rich Family, Had Everything Given to Me so I don’t Know What It’s Like To Struggle Like She Does as a SINGLE-MOTHER.   aHAHAHAHAHA {{snort – deep breath}}  aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH {{cough-cough}} aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! {{wipes the tears away}}  Okay, now that I have that out of my system, SERIOUSLY??   And Rich Family??  Okay Mom and Dad – time to give me back to my real family that you kidnapped me from – you’ve deprived me!!
  • I only care about money and convinced Hun to quit paying her child support because of it.  Hmmm……let’s see.  Yes, I care about money because that’s what makes our world work.  I care about taking care of all 4 kids to the best of our ability and when Jetsam decided to move 6 times in 3 years, transferring her kids all 6 times to new school districts, then yes, I suggested to Hun that a change in custody might be the best thing for his kids.  We petitioned the court for change in custody (to a cost of about $10k additional to us), we won in court, and you, Jetsam, were ordered to pay us child support – a fraction of what we were ordered to pay you I might add.  Of which we have only seen payments when the state has seized your income tax return.  Yeah…..it’s all my fault that the court sided with us and I only care about money.

I understand her being jealous of me – I think, but it isn’t because of college (I didn’t go), or rich family (I know you guys are still laughing at that!), and I had to work hard for everything I have – jealousy is more the state of “I have what she wants!”.  I have her ex-husband, a nice house, her beautiful kids, a good paying job – the American Dream!  The only thing missing is the white picket fence.  Who wouldn’t be jealous of all of that?!?

What I don’t understand is her being scared of me.  Hun insists this is true.  He says I stand up to her and won’t let her push me around, so she’s intimidated by me.  Okay – whatever – I just can’t let idiocy be spoken in my presence (I told you I was a little bull-headed!).  So…..I’ve called her out on her lies to her face a time or two or three.  And that makes her scared of me?  So be it.  Or that I actually had the gall to laugh at her when she was being dead serious about something stupid.  The nerve of me!

Yeah….as you can see, I’m evil.  I’m the evil-step-mother.  I’m the evil-ex-wife.  I’m just all around Evil.  Who knew?

………..Maybe I’m waiting on the wrong phone call….maybe I should be waiting on Maury…..

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